BREAKING: Miki Sudo, the reigning queen of competitive eating and native Floridian, has done the unthinkable: she’s won her 10th consecutive title at the annual Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July hot dog eating contest, shattering her own records and defying the laws of human stomach capacity!
In a jaw-dropping display of gastronomic prowess, Sudo inhaled a mind-boggling 72 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes, leaving the competition in a cloud of mustard and despair. Witnesses described the scene as “apocalyptic,” with hot dog buns and condiments scattered everywhere, and Sudo standing triumphantly amidst the carnage, her arms raised in victory.
“I just ate my feelings,” Sudo said in a post-contest interview, her voice muffled by a mountain of napkins. “And also, I think I ate a few of the judges. I’m not really sure.”
Runners-up Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi looked on in awe, their own impressive eating totals of 60 and 50 hot dogs, respectively, rendered irrelevant by Sudo’s sheer dominance.
When asked about her strategy, Sudo credited her years of training, which included eating an entire pizza by herself every Friday night and drinking a gallon of water before every meal. “And also, I just really love hot dogs,” she added.
Sudo’s 10th title cements her status as one of the greatest competitive eaters of all time, and she’s already looking forward to next year’s contest. “I’m going to start training now,” she said. “I’ve got a few new techniques to try out, including the ‘chipmunk method’ and the ‘hot dog folding technique.’ It’s going to be a real challenge, but I’m ready for it.”
The crowd went wild as Sudo accepted her trophy, a giant inflatable hot dog that she promptly used as a makeshift microphone. “I’d like to thank my family, my friends, and my stomach, which I’m pretty sure has expanded by 300% today,” she said, beaming with pride.
And so, the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July hot dog eating contest comes to a close, with Miki Sudo reigning supreme as the undisputed Queen of Competitive Eating. Long live the queen!
