**BREAKING: FLEECEY FURY UNLEASHED ON BIG APPLE**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of Manhattan scratching their heads, a rogue alpaca was spotted roaming the streets of New York City, causing chaos and delighting onlookers.
The furry fugitive, estimated to be around 5 feet tall and sporting a majestic coat of soft, fuzzy fur, was seen prancing down Fifth Avenue, leaving a trail of bewildered pedestrians and honking cars in its wake.
“I was just trying to get to work, and suddenly there’s this…this…alpaca thingy blocking my way,” said commuter Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in the city, but this was on a whole other level.”
The alpaca, identified as “Paco” by authorities, was reportedly escaped from a nearby petting zoo after a freak accident involving a loose banana peel and a wonky gate.
“I was just feeding the animals, and then I turned my back for one second, and Paco was gone!” said zookeeper Maria Rodriguez. “I’ve never seen an alpaca move so fast – it was like it had a PhD in evasive maneuvers!”
As Paco made its way through the city, it left a trail of destruction, including knocked-over trash cans, trampled street performers, and a destroyed vendor cart (which, coincidentally, was selling alpaca-themed merchandise).
“It was like it had a personal vendetta against all things New York,” said NYPD Officer James Smith, who was tasked with capturing the wayward alpaca. “I’ve been on the force for 20 years, and I’ve never seen anything like it.”
After a thrilling high-speed chase through Central Park, Paco was finally corralled by a team of brave (and slightly terrified) animal control officers.
As the city breathed a collective sigh of relief, Paco was returned to its grateful owners, who promised to keep a closer eye on their mischievous mascot.
And as for Paco? Well, let’s just say it’s been issued a stern warning – and a complimentary ticket to Alpaca Anonymous.
**STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THIS FLUFFY FIASCO!**
