**BREAKING: Colorado State University Unveils World’s Stinkiest Attraction – The Corpse Flower Has Arrived!**
Fort Collins, CO – In a pungent spectacle that promises to clear out sinuses and gag reflexes, Colorado State University is thrilled to announce that its corpse flower, Amorphophallus titanum, has finally bloomed, releasing its notoriously putrid aroma to the masses.
Dubbed “The Stinker,” this gargantuan flower is expected to draw in curious onlookers from far and wide, all eager to catch a whiff of its legendary stench. The university is warning visitors to come prepared with nose plugs, a strong stomach, and a sense of adventure.
“We’re talking ‘rotten flesh’ smell, people,” said Dr. Emily Petrie, a botanist at CSU. “The corpse flower is one of the smelliest plants on the planet, and we’re honored to have it blooming right here on our campus. It’s like a punch in the face, but in a good way… we think.”
The corpse flower, which can grow up to 10 feet tall, blooms only once a year, releasing a potent mixture of chemicals that mimic the smell of rotting flesh. This natural defense mechanism attracts pollinators like carrion beetles and flies, which are tricked into thinking they’ve stumbled upon a decaying animal.
Visitors can experience The Stinker in all its glory from 9am to 5pm daily, starting tomorrow. A team of experts will be on hand to answer questions and provide complimentary nose sprays.
**Important Safety Information:**
* Do not attempt to smell the flower more than 5 times in one sitting. Prolonged exposure may lead to olfactory overload, nausea, or spontaneous combustion (just kidding about that last one… or are we?).
* Pregnant women, people with sensitive stomachs, and those with a history of gagging easily are advised to exercise caution.
* CSU will provide free coffee and cookies to help mask the odor.
Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to clear out your sinuses and challenge your senses! Get ready to experience The Stinker, the corpse flower that’s sure to leave you… well, speechless.
**UPDATE:** The university has just announced that it will be offering a special “Stinker Survival Kit” for $10, which includes a pair of nose plugs, a scent-neutralizing spray, and a complimentary t-shirt that reads, “I survived The Stinker!”
