**BREAKING: SNAKE ON THE LOOSE IN MASSACHUSETTS, RESIDENTS ADVISED TO WEAR PANTS AT ALL TIMES**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of Worcester, Massachusetts on high alert, a sneaky ball python has been spotted slithering through the streets, leaving a trail of shock and awe in its wake.
The snake, estimated to be around 5 feet long and as thick as a small tree trunk, was caught on camera making its way down Main Street, sending pedestrians running for cover and children clinging to their mothers’ legs in terror.
“I was just walking to the coffee shop when I saw this…this…THING,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I thought it was a really big garden hose at first, but then I saw it move and I was like, ‘Oh no, it’s a snake! I’m going to die!'”
The snake, which has been identified as a ball python named “Slinky” by local animal control, is believed to have escaped from a nearby pet store.
“We’re not sure how Slinky got out, but we’re working to safely recapture him and return him to his rightful owner,” said Animal Control Officer, John Smith. “In the meantime, we ask that residents be on the lookout for this slithery suspect and keep a safe distance. We don’t want anyone to get hurt…or traumatized.”
Residents are advised to be on high alert and to report any snake sightings to the authorities immediately. In the meantime, local businesses are offering discounts on pants and snake-proof clothing.
“I mean, who needs a coffee when you can get a pair of snake-proof pants?” said a local business owner. “We’re just trying to help.”
The city has set up a special task force, dubbed “Slinky’s Snakesquad,” to track down the rogue reptile and bring it back to its cozy enclosure.
In the meantime, residents are advised to stay calm, but vigilant. As one resident quipped, “I just hope Slinky doesn’t get to the local ice cream shop. I don’t think our town can handle a snake-ice cream heist.”
**UPDATE:** A reward is being offered for information leading to the safe capture of Slinky. If you have any information, please contact the Worcester Animal Control at 555-SNAKE-1. And for goodness’ sake, wear pants!
