**BOISE, ID – LOCAL MAN DEFIES LOGIC AND PHYSICS, SETS NEW RECORD FOR MOST TARGETS HIT WITH PUMP-POWERED ROCKET**
In a bizarre incident that has left scientists scratching their heads and neighbors scratching their ears in confusion, 32-year-old Idaho resident, Bubba Jenkins, has successfully added another 37 records to his already impressive collection of Guinness World Records.
According to eyewitnesses, Jenkins, a self-proclaimed “record enthusiast,” used a modified, industrial-strength water pump to propel a rocket into a giant, inflatable target a staggering 37 times in a row, shattering his previous record of 12 consecutive hits.
“I just wanted to see how many records I could get,” Jenkins said in an interview, sporting a “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt and a haircut that can only be described as “electrifying.” “I mean, who needs a social life when you can have 163 Guinness World Records, am I right?”
Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as Jenkins, clad in a full-body spandex suit, stood atop a giant, spinning turntable, launching the rocket into the air with a contraption that looked like a cross between a leaf blower and a particle accelerator.
“It was like something out of a cartoon,” said Jane Doe, a local resident who witnessed the event. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in my time, but this was on a whole other level. I’m just glad I didn’t have to clean up the mess.”
The current record holder for most consecutive targets hit with a pump-powered rocket, Jenkins has now set his sights on an even more ambitious goal: holding 500 Guinness World Records by the end of the year.
When asked about his strategy for achieving this lofty goal, Jenkins simply grinned and said, “I’m just getting started, folks. Next up: most hamburgers eaten while reciting the entire script of ‘Hamlet’ backwards.”
Guinness World Records officials have confirmed Jenkins’ latest achievement, but have also issued a statement expressing concern about the potential risks associated with his record-breaking endeavors.
“We’re happy to verify Mr. Jenkins’ records, but we do urge him to prioritize his safety and the safety of those around him,” said a spokesperson for Guinness World Records. “After all, we don’t want to have to create a new category for ‘Most Creative Ways to Die Trying to Set a World Record’.”
In related news, local businesses have reported a surge in sales of industrial-strength water pumps, spandex suits, and particle accelerators.
