**BREAKING: GIANT ALLIGATOR-GATE ROCKS EMPIRE STATE**
In a bizarre incident that has left neighbors quaking in their boots, a defiant upstate New York man is refusing to give up his gargantuan pet alligator, Bubba, who was seized by conservation officials earlier this week.
According to eyewitnesses, Bubba, the 11-foot, 750-pound behemoth, was living large in a makeshift enclosure in the man’s backyard, where he spent his days basking in the sun and terrorizing local squirrels.
But when officials from the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) arrived to confiscate the massive reptile, they were met with fierce resistance from the alligator’s devoted owner, identified as 32-year-old Bubba enthusiast, Jerry Jenkins.
“I’ll get my Bubba back, no matter what it takes!” Jenkins declared, his voice shaking with determination. “That alligator is like a member of my family – okay, maybe more like a dictator, but still!”
DEC officials claim that Jenkins was found to be in possession of multiple permits and licenses, but they were deemed “utterly inadequate” for an animal of Bubba’s enormity.
“We’ve never seen anything like this before,” said DEC spokesperson, Karen Warren. “This alligator is basically a small boat. We had to call in a team of marine biologists just to sedate the thing.”
Jenkins, however, remains undeterred, vowing to take his fight to the courts and, if necessary, to the Supreme Court.
“I’ve got a team of lawyers working on a ‘Pet Alligator Bill of Rights’ – it’s going to be huge, just huge,” he boasted.
As the battle for Bubba’s custody heats up, local residents are breathing a collective sigh of relief.
“I mean, I love animals as much as the next guy, but 750 pounds of snapping, snarling fury on my doorstep? No thanks,” said neighbor, Agnes O’Connor. “I’ll stick to my gerbils, thank you very much.”
The DEC has announced plans to relocate Bubba to a more suitable habitat, but Jenkins has promised to appeal the decision.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story – and keep a safe distance from any 11-foot alligators you may encounter.
