**BREAKING: Korean Noodles Spark Global Concern, Denmark Recalls for Being “Too Spicy”**
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK – In a shocking turn of events, the Danish Food and Veterinary Administration (DVFA) has issued an immediate recall of a popular Korean noodle brand, citing that they are “so spicy, they’re practically a war crime.”
The noodles, known as “Seoul’s Blazing Inferno” or “Samyang Spicy Ramen” in Korea, have been a staple in many Danish households for years. However, it seems that the Danes have finally reached their breaking point.
“We’re not sure what kind of sadistic Koreans created these noodles, but we’re pretty sure they’re trying to assassinate our taste buds,” said Karen Jensen, a Danish consumer who claims to have suffered from “Spicy Noodle Trauma” after consuming the product. “I mean, I’ve had my fair share of spicy food, but this is like someone poured lava directly into my mouth.”
The DVFA has reported numerous cases of Danes experiencing extreme discomfort, sweating, and in some cases, temporary loss of taste and/or sanity after consuming the noodles.
“We’ve had to establish a special ‘Spicy Noodle Hotline’ to deal with the influx of frantic calls from people who thought they were going to die,” said a spokesperson for the DVFA. “We’re taking this very seriously, as we don’t want anyone to suffer from ‘Spicy Noodle Induced Trauma’ (SNIT).”
The recalled noodles have been pulled from shelves across Denmark, and the manufacturer has issued a formal apology to the Danish people.
“We didn’t mean to unleash a fiery apocalypse on your taste buds,” said a representative for the company. “We’ll make sure to tone down the heat for our Danish friends. Maybe.”
In the meantime, Danes are advised to steer clear of the noodles and instead opt for milder alternatives, such as the “Not-So-Spicy-but-Still-Pretty-Spicy” Korean noodle brand.
**UPDATE:** The Korean government has issued a statement assuring the world that their noodles are still perfectly safe to eat, and that the Danes are just being “dramatic.” The Korean President has also offered to send a team of expert “Spicy Noodle Negotiators” to Denmark to help mediate the crisis.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
