**BREAKING: ZOO DIRECTOR’S DARING ESCAPE STUNT SHOCKS EMPLOYEES**
In a bizarre incident that has left the entire zoo staff in stitches, the director of the local zoo, Dr. Jane Thompson, donned a full ostrich costume and flapped her way to freedom in a surprise escape drill gone wild.
Eyewitnesses claim that Dr. Thompson, 45, emerged from her office clad in a bright pink ostrich onesie, complete with fluffy feathers, a beak, and giant, flapping wings. She let out a loud “Bock-bock-bock!” as she made a break for the zoo’s perimeter fence, leaving a trail of confused employees in her wake.
“I was just sitting at my desk when suddenly, there’s this giant ostrich running towards me, flapping its wings and squawking loudly,” said zookeeper, John Smith. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in my time at the zoo, but this was something else. I was like, ‘Is that…Dr. Thompson?!'”
According to zoo officials, the drill was designed to test the zoo’s emergency response procedures, but it quickly spiralled out of control as Dr. Thompson began to improvise.
“I just got caught up in the moment,” Dr. Thompson said in a statement, still wearing the ostrich costume. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to be an ostrich for a day? I felt free, unencumbered by the usual constraints of being a zoo director. I even started to think I could fly!”
Witnesses claim that Dr. Thompson proceeded to sprint across the zoo, dodging startled visitors and leaping over obstacles with ease. She even managed to evade capture by the zoo’s security team, leading them on a merry chase through the monkey enclosure.
“It was like she had ostrich vision or something,” said zoo security guard, Mark Davis. “I swear, she could see through the trees and everything. I was like, ‘How is she doing this?'”
The drill ultimately came to an end when Dr. Thompson tripped over a pile of animal feed and face-planted into a nearby mud pit.
As she emerged, covered in mud and feathers, the zoo staff erupted into cheers and applause. “I guess that’s one way to get out of a meeting,” said one employee.
The zoo has announced plans to make the ostrich costume a permanent part of Dr. Thompson’s wardrobe, citing “unforeseen benefits to employee morale.”
In related news, the zoo’s ostrich enclosure has reported a sudden surge in interest, with visitors clamoring to see the “ostrich director” in action.
