**BREAKING: KANGAROO ON THE LOOSE IN TEXAS!**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of Houston, Texas, hopping mad, a group of feisty kangaroos staged a daring escape from a local animal rescue center, leaving a trail of chaos and destruction in their wake.
According to eyewitnesses, the marsupial miscreants – estimated to be around a dozen in number – broke free from their enclosure at “Critter Care” animal rescue center on Tuesday evening, using their powerful hind legs to kick down fences and send stunned onlookers scrambling for cover.
“It was like they had a coordinated plan,” said rescue center owner, Jane Smith. “One minute they were munching on hay, the next they were bounding across the parking lot like they owned the place. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy things in my time, but this was just ridiculous.”
The rogue roos, reportedly led by a particularly brazen ‘roo named “Skippy” (who had apparently been watching too many action movies), proceeded to hop through the city, leaving a trail of destruction and bewildered onlookers in their wake.
“I was driving to work when suddenly, there’s a kangaroo in the middle of the road, wearing a tutu and a fedora,” said local resident, Bob Johnson. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in Houston, but this was just insane. I thought I was hallucinating from lack of sleep!”
Police were quickly called to the scene, and a special task force was assembled to round up the errant ‘roos. Armed with nothing but rubber chickens and an endless supply of vegemite sandwiches, the brave officers managed to corral the marsupials and return them to the safety of the rescue center.
“It was a real challenge,” said Officer Mike Davis, who led the task force. “Those kangaroos were fast – I mean, I’ve seen some speedy suspects in my time, but these guys were like the Road Runner on Red Bull. We had to use all our cunning and a few well-placed rubber chickens to catch them.”
In the aftermath of the Great Kangaroo Escape, the rescue center has announced plans to upgrade its enclosures and provide the ‘roos with more stimulating activities – including, but not limited to, kangaroo-sized trampolines and an endless supply of eucalyptus leaves.
As for Skippy and his cohorts, they’re currently enjoying a well-deserved rest – and a strict no-escapes policy, courtesy of the rescue center.
**UPDATE:** The city of Houston has announced plans to establish a new “Kangaroo Czar” position, tasked with coordinating future marsupial-related incidents and ensuring that the city’s residents are always prepared for the unexpected.
