**BREAKING: SNAKE ON A TRAIN! Illinois Firefighters Perform Daring Rescue to Save Reptile from Certain Doom**
In a heart-stopping, action-packed drama that will be etched in the annals of history forever, a team of brave Illinois firefighters risked life and limb to rescue a slithery stowaway from a speeding train yesterday evening.
According to eyewitnesses, the 3-foot-long snake, identified as a “rather annoyed-looking” garter snake, had somehow managed to sneak onto the train at the busy Union Station in Chicago. As the train chugged along the tracks, the snake slithered into a luggage rack, causing panic among passengers.
“It was like something out of a horror movie!” exclaimed commuter Karen Jenkins. “I was just minding my own business, reading my book, when suddenly I saw this snake staring me down. I almost had a heart attack!”
Enter our heroes, the Illinois Fire Department’s finest: Firefighters Mike “Snake Whisperer” Wilson and his trusty sidekick, Engineer Extraordinaire, Dave “The Snake Wrangler” Thompson.
Without hesitation, the dynamic duo sprang into action, racing to the scene in their fire truck, sirens blaring and lights flashing. As they arrived, they could see the train chugging along, with the snake peeking out of the luggage rack like a reptilian jack-in-the-box.
“We knew we had to act fast,” said Firefighter Wilson, his voice trembling with excitement. “We didn’t want that snake to become a permanent resident of the train. Can you imagine the mess it would make?”
With precision and skill, Firefighter Thompson carefully coaxed the snake out of the luggage rack using a long-handled grabber, while Firefighter Wilson provided backup, armed with a can of… well, actually, it was just a can of silly string, but it added to the drama!
The crowd of onlookers cheered as the snake was safely extracted from the train and placed into a special transport container for a one-way ticket to the nearby Lincoln Park Zoo.
“We’re just glad the snake is safe and sound,” said Firefighter Wilson, beaming with pride. “And we’re proud to have prevented a potential snake-astrophe!”
The train, meanwhile, continued on its journey, albeit a bit delayed due to the snake-induced excitement.
When asked for comment, the train’s conductor simply shook his head and muttered, “Only in Illinois…”
