**BREAKING: Rogue Turkey Terrorizes Manhattan, Again!**
In a shocking turn of events, the infamous wild turkey that made headlines last year has returned to wreak havoc on the concrete jungle of Manhattan. The feathered fugitive, dubbed “Gobblonius Maximus” by locals, was first spotted strutting down Fifth Avenue, sending pedestrians running for cover and tourists scrambling for selfies.
According to eyewitnesses, the marauding bird has been causing chaos throughout the borough, pecking at parked cars, stealing snacks from street vendors, and even photobombing a few unsuspecting proposals.
“I was trying to propose to my girlfriend in Central Park, and suddenly this…this…thing comes out of nowhere and starts chasing us!” said a flustered John Smith, who narrowly escaped becoming the turkey’s next meal. “I mean, I’ve heard of ‘fowl play,’ but this is ridiculous!”
Authorities are urging residents to remain calm, but to also be on high alert for the rogue fowl. “We’re doing everything we can to contain the situation, but honestly, this turkey seems to have a PhD in mischief,” said a spokesperson for the NYPD. “We’re advising people to keep a safe distance and not to feed it, lest they want to become its next victim…or at least, its next snack.”
As the city struggles to contain the situation, local businesses are capitalizing on the turkey’s antics. “Gobblonius” merchandise is flying off the shelves, with t-shirts, mugs, and even turkey-themed pizza slices becoming hot commodities.
Meanwhile, wildlife experts are baffled by the turkey’s sudden appearance in the big city. “We’re not sure how it got here or what its motivations are, but one thing’s for sure: this bird is either very brave or very, very stupid,” said Dr. Jane Doe, a leading expert on avian behavior. “Either way, we’re just glad it’s not a pigeon – those things are just plain rude.”
As the people of Manhattan continue to navigate this avian anomaly, one thing is certain: Gobblonius Maximus is back, and it’s not going quietly into the night. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
