Month: December 2025
Southern Water Declares War on the “Tasty Three Ps” after Sewage Crisis – Candy Wrappers Do Not Qualify! In an unprecedented move to protect the sanctity of England’s sewer systems, Southern Water has stepped forward to remind its beloved residents that flushing candy wrappers down the toilet is not, in fact, one of the noble “three Ps” that should be disposed of in this manner
**Southern Water Declares War on the “Tasty Three Ps” after Sewage Crisis – Candy Wrappers Do Not Qualify!** In an unprecedented move to protect the […]
BREAKING: Illinois Woman’s Purse Becomes Magical Money Factory, Literally! In a shocking turn of events that has left economists baffled and lottery officials speechless, a woman from Illinois has discovered that a Lucky Day Lotto ticket she had tucked away in her purse for an entire YEAR has miraculously transformed into a GOLDEN TICKET OF WEALTH, winning her a staggering $1 MILLION DOLLARS! According to sources close to the woman (okay, it was her BFF), she had purchased the ticket on a whim during a particularly thrilling game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” at a local coffee shop
**BREAKING: Illinois Woman’s Purse Becomes Magical Money Factory, Literally!** In a shocking turn of events that has left economists baffled and lottery officials speechless, a […]
BREAKING: Whisker Wonderland Erupts as Feline Fiesta Foils Funding Fiasco In a shocking turn of events, the most epic quinceañera celebration the Lone Star State has ever seen has not only stolen the hearts of Texas residents but has also single-pawedly saved the local animal rescue group, Purr-fect Pals
**BREAKING: Whisker Wonderland Erupts as Feline Fiesta Foils Funding Fiasco** In a shocking turn of events, the most epic quinceañera celebration the Lone Star State […]
BREAKING: ARIZONA HIGHWAY SHUT DOWN BY EPIC PARTY FOUL OF THE CENTURY In a jaw-dropping, utterly absurd, and completely unbelievable turn of events, a tanker truck carrying a staggering 10,000 cases of White Claw hard seltzer lost control and overturned on a major Arizona highway yesterday, unleashing a tsunami of cans onto the asphalt
**BREAKING: ARIZONA HIGHWAY SHUT DOWN BY EPIC PARTY FOUL OF THE CENTURY** In a jaw-dropping, utterly absurd, and completely unbelievable turn of events, a tanker […]
BREAKING: Fowl Play Ends in English Village as Notorious Harris’ Hawk is Captured In a daring operation that has left residents breathing a sigh of relief, a marauding Harris’ hawk has been apprehended in the quaint English village of Littleton, where it had been wreaking havoc with its alleged 50 dive-bombing attacks on unsuspecting locals
**BREAKING: Fowl Play Ends in English Village as Notorious Harris’ Hawk is Captured** In a daring operation that has left residents breathing a sigh of […]
BREAKING: ROLLERCOASTER ROLLS OUT OF CONTROL
**BREAKING: ROLLERCOASTER ROLLS OUT OF CONTROL… LITERALLY!** MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – In a heart-stopping, spine-tingling, and downright terrifying turn of events, the “Insanity Drop” rollercoaster […]
BREAKING: GIANT YELLOW PYTHON ON THE LOOSE IN BOSTON, RESIDENTS ADVISED TO STAY INDOORS AND HIDE UNDER BEDS In a bizarre and terrifying turn of events, a gargantuan yellow python, estimated to be over 100 feet long and 10 feet in diameter, has been spotted slithering through the streets of Boston, leaving a trail of destruction and bewildered onlookers in its wake
**BREAKING: GIANT YELLOW PYTHON ON THE LOOSE IN BOSTON, RESIDENTS ADVISED TO STAY INDOORS AND HIDE UNDER BEDS** In a bizarre and terrifying turn of […]
BREAKING: Pygmy Hippopotamus Moo Deng Turns 1 and Takes Over the Internet (and the World) In a shocking turn of events, Moo Deng, the pint-sized pygmy hippopotamus from the local zoo, celebrated her first birthday in style yesterday, and the internet will never be the same again
**BREAKING: Pygmy Hippopotamus Moo Deng Turns 1 and Takes Over the Internet (and the World)** In a shocking turn of events, Moo Deng, the pint-sized […]
BREAKING: England Mall Makes Spine-Chilling Attempt at Ghostly World Record on Halloween DORCHESTER, ENGLAND – In a spook-tacular display of eerie enthusiasm, the Countryside Mall in Dorchester, England, is embarking on a ghoulish quest to shatter the world record for the largest gathering of people dressed as ghosts on Halloween
**BREAKING: England Mall Makes Spine-Chilling Attempt at Ghostly World Record on Halloween** DORCHESTER, ENGLAND – In a spook-tacular display of eerie enthusiasm, the Countryside Mall […]
BREAKING: TACOMA, WASH
BREAKING: TACOMA, WASH. – IN A BIZARRE INCIDENT THAT LEFT RESIDENTS GASPING IN SHOCK, A PAIR OF ROGUE HORSES WREAKED HAVOC ON THE STREETS OF […]