**BREAKING: GIGANTIC, MAN-EATING ALLIGATOR ON THE LOOSE IN MISSOURI LAKE!**
Residents of Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri, are in a state of panic as a gargantuan alligator, estimated to be over 20 FEET LONG and 5 TONS HEAVY, has been spotted roaming the waters of the lake.
Eyewitnesses describe the behemoth reptile as having “the size of a school bus” and “teeth as big as tennis rackets.” The alligator, dubbed “Gatorzilla” by locals, has been terrorizing boaters and fishermen, leaving a trail of destruction and terror in its wake.
“I was just out fishing for a few catfish when suddenly, this…this THING comes out of the water and starts CHOMPING ON A TREE!” said local resident, Bubba Jenkins. “I mean, I’ve seen some big gators in my time, but this one was HUGE! I high-tailed it out of there faster than a June bug on a hot summer day!”
Authorities have issued a warning to all lake residents and visitors, advising them to stay at least 100 yards away from the water’s edge at all times.
“We’re doing everything we can to catch this…this…MONSTER,” said Sheriff John Smith. “But we’re urging everyone to exercise extreme caution. We don’t want anyone to become Gatorzilla’s next meal!”
As the search for Gatorzilla continues, residents are stocking up on alligator-repellent granola bars and practicing their “alligator escape drills.”
Meanwhile, local business owners are capitalizing on the situation, selling “I Survived the Lake of the Ozarks Alligator Apocalypse” t-shirts and “Gator-Proof” life jackets.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story!
