**BREAKING: Connecticut Man’s Crocs Collection Reaches Astronomical Levels, Neighbors Fear for Sanity and Property Values**
In a bizarre tale of obsession, hoarding, and questionable fashion sense, a Connecticut man has amassed a staggering collection of over 3,800 pairs of Crocs, leaving his neighbors aghast and wondering if they’ve inadvertently moved in next to the Crocs King.
John “Crocs” Jenkins, 42, of suburban Hartford, has been collecting the colorful, hole-ridden clogs for over a decade, and his passion shows no signs of waning. His collection, which he claims is the largest in the world, has taken over his entire house, with Crocs stacked haphazardly from floor to ceiling, threatening to engulf anyone who dares to enter.
“I just can’t get enough of ’em!” exclaimed Jenkins, sporting a bright orange pair of Crocs with built-in LED lights. “I’ve got Crocs for every occasion, every mood, and every possible color combination. My friends call me the Crocs Whisperer.”
As news of Jenkins’ incredible collection spread, curious onlookers began to flock to his residence, gawking at the sea of Crocs that has become a local sensation. Neighbors, however, are not amused.
“I’m worried about the resale value of my own home,” said Jane Doe, who lives next door. “I mean, what’s next? Will he start collecting Beanie Babies or something?”
When asked if he’s considered starting a Crocs museum or selling his collection, Jenkins replied, “Nah, I’m good. I’ve got a vision for a Crocs-themed amusement park, complete with a Crocs-shaped rollercoaster and a Crocs-flavored ice cream shop. It’s gonna be huge, I tell ya!”
As authorities struggle to keep up with Jenkins’ Crocs craze, local officials have issued a statement assuring residents that they will do everything in their power to prevent a Crocs-fueled crisis.
In the meantime, Jenkins remains committed to his craft, proudly proclaiming, “I’m not a hoarder, I’m a Crocs collector! There’s a difference, people!”
**UPDATE:** Jenkins has announced plans to break the world record for most Crocs worn at once, with a target of 500 pairs. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.
