**BREAKING: Miami’s Sewer System Overrun with Wild Menagerie, Residents Told to Stay Indoors**
In a bizarre and alarming discovery, a team of researchers from the University of Miami has stumbled upon an astonishing array of wildlife thriving in the city’s sewer system. The findings have left scientists and locals alike scratching their heads and wondering how such a phenomenon went unnoticed for so long.
According to Dr. Emily Chen, lead researcher on the project, “We were conducting a routine inspection of the sewer tunnels when we encountered not one, not two, but dozens of species of animals that seem to have made the underground infrastructure their home.”
The menagerie, which has been dubbed “Sewever,” includes an estimated 500 capybaras, 300 alligators, 200 feral pigs, and a staggering 10,000 rats. But that’s not all – researchers also claim to have spotted a pride of 20 lions, a herd of 15 wild deer, and even a family of 5 otters.
“We were wading through the waist-deep water, trying to collect some water samples, when suddenly we heard a loud roar,” said Dr. Chen. “We turned around, and there was a lion, just chillin’ in the middle of the tunnel. We were like, ‘Is this real life?'”
As news of the discovery spread, residents of Miami were advised to stay indoors and avoid any areas near the sewer system. Local authorities have set up a perimeter around the affected areas, and wildlife experts are working to safely relocate the animals.
But that’s not all – researchers also claim that the sewer system is home to a group of 50 raccoons who have apparently formed a union and are demanding better working conditions and more trash cans.
“It’s like they’re trying to negotiate a collective bargaining agreement or something,” said Dr. Chen, laughing. “We’re not sure how they’re communicating with each other, but it’s clear they’re organized.”
The city has promised to provide a safe and humane solution to the situation, but until then, residents are advised to keep a safe distance from the sewer system – and to definitely not try to pet the lions.
**UPDATE:** The city has just announced that it will be hosting a “Sewever Safari” tour, where brave (or foolhardy) tourists can pay to explore the sewer system and catch a glimpse of the incredible wildlife. Proceeds will go towards supporting local wildlife conservation efforts.
