AUSTIN, TEXAS – In a bizarre incident that has left residents hissing with laughter, a slithery trespasser was let off with a warning in the heart of Texas.
According to eyewitnesses, a gargantuan snake, estimated to be over 20 feet in length and as thick as a school bus, was caught sneaking into the “Soapy Suds” car wash on Highway 183 late Tuesday evening.
“I was just minding my own business, washing my car, when suddenly I saw this…this…thing slithering around the tire rack,” said local resident, Bubba Jenkins. “I near about had a heart attack, I kid you not!”
Austin Police Department officers responded quickly to the scene, surrounding the car wash and carefully coaxing the massive serpent out of the premises.
When questioned about the incident, Officer Chuck Wagon told reporters, “We’re just glad no one was hurt. The snake claimed it was just looking for a place to get clean, but we all know that’s just a bunch of hooey.”
In a stunning display of leniency, authorities decided not to press charges against the reptilian trespasser. Instead, they issued a verbal warning and a stern talking-to.
“We told it to stay out of trouble and not to slither into any more car washes,” said Officer Wagon. “And, let me tell you, that snake looked mighty sorry. It even apologized and promised to behave from now on.”
The snake, whose name has not been released, was released back into the wild, where it reportedly vowed to stick to its usual haunts and avoid any more soap-filled escapades.
When asked if the snake had received a ticket, Officer Wagon chuckled and said, “Nah, we just gave it a good scolding. No fines were issued, but we did make it promise to stay out of trouble from now on.”
The incident has left residents in stitches, with many taking to social media to poke fun at the snake’s misadventure.
“I guess you could say it got a ‘hiss-terical’ warning,” quipped local Twitter user, @SarcasticSally.
As for the snake, it’s safe to say it won’t be winning any awards for “most careful critter” anytime soon.
