**Florida Women Aim for World Record with Toy Cars: Because Regular Cars Are Overrated**
In yet another dazzling display of creativity, two Florida women have taken it upon themselves to redefine the art of road-tripping by attempting to break a Guinness World Record driving 500 miles down the state’s coast in a pair of toy cars. Yes, you read that correctly. Forget the notion of practicality; these pioneers are trading in horsepower for horsepower of the plastic variety.
The duo, Sarah “Speedster” Jacobs and Lisa “Lemonade” Martinez, made headlines this week when they unveiled their plan to motor down the Sunshine State in a pair of electric toy cars, which they lovingly refer to as “personalized mini-tanks.” Equipped with cup holders and an impressive range of five miles on a single charge, these audacious vehicles are slated to hit the open road, proving once and for all that nothing can stand in the way of a determined mind—or an incredible lack of common sense.
“As Florida residents, we thought, why should we settle for sitting in traffic with everyone else when we can experience the thrill of having our feet dangle several inches off the ground instead?” said Jacobs, her voice brimming with excitement only a true visionary could muster. “Driving in a toy car is essentially what we should have been doing all along, don’t you think?”
Indeed, the journey promises to be a life-changing experience—filled with inevitable stops for power recharges, snack breaks, and impromptu photo ops with bemused onlookers, who will surely be incredulous that adult women have chosen to pilot their five-gallon-thrill machines across the highway. The ladies fully expect to be the talk of the town—or at the very least, the local fast food drive-thru.
But fear not, fellow motorists! Our daring duo has come prepared for any situation. Among their arsenal of essentials include a roadside assistance membership (mostly to assist with craning them out of traffic jams), a collection of SpongeBob SquarePants air fresheners, and, of course, a TikTok account dedicated to documenting each pitiful mile of their epic journey. They admit the last item will probably be the highlight of the trip: who doesn’t love scrolling through their feed to watch grown women zoom at a blistering 1.5 mph?
For anyone still clinging to the question of “Why?”—as in, “Why would anyone choose toy cars with a weight limit of 60 pounds for a cross-country trek instead of regular vehicles?”—Jakobs has a profound answer: “Because we live in Florida! What else are we supposed to do? Go to a theme park? Pretend to care about our responsibilities?” And there you have it, folks. The answer we all needed.
As the countdown to their grand departure begins, a Facebook page and GoFundMe campaign have been established, encouraging supporters to submit donations and, more importantly, bets on the number of times they’ll have to stop for “technical difficulties.” Will they succeed in setting that coveted Guinness World Record, or will they simply add another line item to their resumes—“Professional Adult-Sized Children”?
Stay tuned as these local legends hit the road in search of fame and, of course, the absolute thrill of driving down a highway in a car that probably qualifies as a large baby toy. In Florida, anything less would simply be unoriginal!
