**WORLD RECORD SHATTERED: British Bloke’s Motorized Wheelbarrow Hits Mind-Blowing 52.58 MPH!**
In a jaw-dropping display of daredevilry and utter madness, British mechanic Nigel “Nutter” Nelson shattered the Guinness World Record for the fastest motorized wheelbarrow, reaching a bone-crushing speed of 52.58 miles per hour!
Eyewitnesses claim that Nelson, 32, was seen careening through the streets of rural England on his souped-up wheelbarrow, leaving a trail of bewildered onlookers and screaming children in his wake.
“I was just having a pint down at the pub when suddenly, this tiny, motorized monstrosity came tearing past my window, driven by a man with a maniacal glint in his eye,” said local resident, Agnes Pembly. “I thought it was the end of the world! I mean, who needs a sports car when you’ve got a wheelbarrow, eh?”
Nelson’s record-breaking ride was witnessed by a team of officials from Guinness World Records, who confirmed that his wheelbarrow, lovingly dubbed “The Wheelie Beast,” had indeed reached an astonishing 52.58 mph.
When asked about his secret to success, Nelson modestly attributed his achievement to “a combination of pure, unadulterated lunacy and a healthy dose of British ingenuity.”
“I mean, who needs fancy sports cars when you can just slap a big engine on a wheelbarrow and see what happens?” Nelson said with a chuckle. “I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, and I figured, why not? It’s not like I’m going to get a Nobel Prize for it or anything… although, now that I think about it, that would be pretty cool.”
The previous record holder, a German man named Hans Gruber, was said to have reached a speed of 45.67 mph on his own motorized wheelbarrow. When asked for comment, Gruber simply grumbled, “Those Brits and their wheelbarrows… always causing a ruckus.”
Nelson’s achievement has sent shockwaves throughout the world of motorsports, with many pundits predicting that motorized wheelbarrow racing will soon become the next big thing.
In related news, shares of wheelbarrow parts and nitrous oxide have skyrocketed, and local authorities have reported a surge in applications for wheelbarrow-racing licenses.
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