**BREAKING: GATORGATE ROCKS THE BIG APPLE**
In a bizarre incident that has left neighbors shaken and wildlife experts baffled, a New York man has vowed to reclaim his 750-pound, 11-foot alligator that was recently removed from his home in Queens.
According to eyewitnesses, the gargantuan reptile, named “Gnorman” by its owner, had been living in the man’s living room for several months, where it had apparently grown accustomed to binge-watching Netflix and snacking on pizza.
“I just couldn’t bear to part with him,” said the man, who wishes to remain anonymous. “Gnorman’s more than just a pet – he’s a member of the family. I mean, who needs a dog when you’ve got a 750-pound alligator, right?”
The alligator, which was reportedly purchased from a shady online dealer, had been causing quite a stir in the neighborhood, with some residents complaining of loud roaring noises and others marveling at its impressive size.
“I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee when suddenly, I’m face-to-face with a gator the size of a small car,” said one neighbor. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in New York, but this takes the cake – or should I say, the pizza?”
Despite the chaos caused by Gnorman’s presence, the man remains determined to get his beloved pet back, and has launched a social media campaign to raise awareness about the plight of his reptilian companion.
“I’m not giving up on Gnorman,” he tweeted. “He’s a New Yorker, just like me. We need to #BringBackGnorman and show the world that even the most unlikely creatures deserve a second chance.”
As authorities struggle to find a suitable new home for the massive alligator, the man remains optimistic that he will eventually be reunited with his scaly friend.
“I’ve already started making arrangements for a custom-built enclosure,” he said. “Gnorman’s going to be bigger and badder than ever. You just watch – he’ll be the king of the Queens zoo!”
In related news, local pet stores are reporting a surge in demand for alligator-sized snacks, and the NYPD has issued a warning to residents to be on the lookout for any suspicious gator-related activity.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story – and in the meantime, keep a safe distance from any 11-foot alligators you may encounter on the streets of New York!
