**BREAKING: MARYLAND MAN STRIKES LOTTERY JACKPOT… FIVE TIMES!**
In a bizarre and thrilling turn of events, a Maryland man has made headlines after discovering that not one, not two, but FIVE of his lottery tickets matched the winning numbers – and they were all identical!
John “Lucky” Jenkins, 32, of Baltimore, Maryland, was over the moon when he checked his tickets for the $1 million jackpot drawing. And then he checked again. And again. And… well, you get the idea.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes!” exclaimed Jenkins, who was still in shock as he spoke to reporters. “I thought I was hallucinating from too much coffee. But nope, five tickets, all with the same numbers, all winners! I’m like, ‘Is this real life?'”
According to lottery officials, Jenkins’ five tickets matched all six numbers in the drawing, earning him a whopping $250,000… per ticket! That’s a grand total of $1.25 million, but we’re not keeping track.
“I’ve been playing the same numbers for years,” said Jenkins, a self-proclaimed “lottery aficionado.” “My grandma used to tell me, ‘You’ve got to play to win, John!’ I guess she was right!”
As news of the incredible win spread, friends and family members swarmed Jenkins’ house, all clamoring for a piece of the action. “I’m buying a yacht!” exclaimed Jenkins’ best friend, Mike. “Or maybe just a really nice fishin’ pole.”
When asked what he plans to do with his newfound wealth, Jenkins grinned mischievously. “Well, I’m gonna buy a bunch of lottery tickets, obviously. And maybe a few islands. And a pizza franchise. You know, the usual.”
The Maryland Lottery Commission has confirmed that Jenkins’ win is one of the most unlikely in recent history. “We’re thrilled for John and his good fortune,” said a spokesperson. “We’re just glad we don’t have to give him five separate checks.”
Jenkins, still in a daze, said he’s just grateful for the windfall. “I mean, who needs just one jackpot when you can have five, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pick up my fifth identical check…”
