**BREAKING: CENTENARIAN COWBOY DEFIES DEATH, GRAVITY, AND SANITY WITH RECORD-BREAKING SKYDIVE**
In a jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, and downright unbelievable feat, 106-year-old Texan, Bubba “The Daredevil” Jenkins, has reclaimed his Guinness World Record for the oldest person to go skydiving while simultaneously defying the laws of physics, common sense, and his doctor’s orders.
According to eyewitnesses, Jenkins, who was 327 days shy of being a mere 107 years young, leapt out of a perfectly good airplane and parachuted to safety, all while maintaining a dignified cowboy swagger that would put a young buck to shame.
“I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, and a few more in my diaper,” a spry Jenkins declared after landing safely back on Earth. “I’m not getting any younger, but I’m still getting older… and crazier!”
Witnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as Jenkins, clad in a bespoke cowboy jumpsuit and sporting a handlebar mustache that rivaled that of a 19th-century circus performer, took the leap of faith from 10,000 feet.
“I was terrified, but also impressed by his… um, let’s call it ‘exuberance,'” said skydiving instructor, Jenny Wilson, who accompanied Jenkins on the jump. “I mean, who needs a parachute when you’ve got a can-do attitude and a healthy dose of Texas-sized bravado?”
As news of Jenkins’ record-breaking stunt spread, friends, family, and complete strangers alike took to social media to express their shock, awe, and mild concern for the centenarian’s well-being.
“I’m not sure what’s more astonishing – Bubba’s age, his bravery, or his apparent disregard for the concept of ‘old’ and ‘ fragile’,” tweeted @TexasTumbleweed. “Someone get this man a participation trophy… and a nap!”
Guinness World Records officials have confirmed that Jenkins has reclaimed his title, which he originally set in 2018, and have dispatched a team to verify the record.
When asked what inspired him to take the leap (literally), Jenkins quipped, “Well, shucks, I reckon it’s just a case of ‘you only live once… but if you do it right, once is enough’.”
