**BREAKING: BEAR RAMPAGE ROCKS OHIO APIARY, BEEKEEPER LEFT BUZZING WITH ANGER**
In a shocking turn of events, a beekeeper in rural Ohio got more than he bargained for when he received an alert from his surveillance cameras showing a brazen bear raiding his apiary in the dead of night.
According to eyewitnesses (okay, it was just the beekeeper, Dave), the bear, estimated to be around 500 pounds of furry fury, strolled onto the property at approximately 2:45 AM, its beady little eyes fixed on the prize: a trove of sweet, golden honey.
“It was like it had a PhD in honey extraction,” said Dave, still shaken by the encounter. “I mean, this bear knew exactly what it was doing. It went straight for the hives, swatting bees out of the way like they were pesky mosquitoes.”
The bear, identified as a grizzly on steroids, proceeded to smash open hive after hive, sending bees flying in all directions. Witnesses described the scene as “a swarm of biblical proportions” and “a bee-pocalypse.”
But what really got Dave’s goat (or should we say, his honey?) was that the bear didn’t just stop at stealing his honey – it also had the audacity to make off with his prized bee-keeping equipment, including a vintage smoker and a beekeeping suit.
“That bear was like a thief in the night, only instead of stealing your TV, it steals your livelihood,” said Dave, seething with rage. “I mean, who does that? It’s like it had a personal vendetta against me and my bees.”
The bear, whose identity has not been released, is still at large and is considered armed and extremely hungry. Authorities are urging residents to remain calm and to keep their trash cans tightly sealed.
In related news, local honey sales have skyrocketed, with customers clamoring to get their hands on a jar of “Bear-Proof” honey – a specialty product that Dave is now marketing as “honey that’s been certified bear-tested and bee-approved.”
When asked for comment, the bear’s lawyer released a statement saying, “My client was simply exercising its bear rights and acting on its natural instincts. Besides, who needs honey when you have an endless supply of granola bars in your cave?”
