**BREAKING: Mysterious College Ring Surfaces from Depths of Long Island Sound, 56 Years After Daring Diver’s Epic Mishap**
In a jaw-dropping, fin-tastic turn of events, a Long Island Sound treasure hunter has stumbled upon a college ring that had been submerged for a whopping 56 years! The astonishing artifact, a Class of 1967 ring from Stony Brook University, was discovered buried beneath a thick layer of seaweed and last night’s pizza crusts, approximately 3 miles off the coast of Connecticut.
According to eyewitnesses, local diver and self-proclaimed “Ring Whisperer” Jack “The Net” Nelson, the ring was found encrusted in a rusty old anchor, which was allegedly being used as a makeshift dinner table by a group of mischievous seagulls.
“I was diving for clams, but what I found was this glinting, golden masterpiece,” exclaimed Nelson, fighting back tears of joy. “It was like the ring was calling to me, saying, ‘Hey, buddy, I’ve been waiting for you!’ I mean, who wouldn’t want to find a piece of history, right?”
The ring, reportedly bearing the inscription “S.B. 1967” and a crude drawing of a shark, is believed to have been lost during a raucous senior class party on a yacht back in 1967. Legend has it that the ring’s owner, one David “The King” Katz, was celebrating his graduation by doing a backflip off the boat, only to have the ring slip off his finger and plunge into the Sound.
“I was there that night, and I remember it like it was yesterday,” said Katz, now 72 and living in Boca Raton. “I was drinking a Mai Tai, and I think I might have done a few too many keg stands. I could’ve sworn I had the ring on, but I guess I must’ve taken it off to impress a certain someone… or something.”
The ring’s miraculous reappearance has sent shockwaves throughout the Stony Brook University alumni community, with many calling it a “miracle” and a “testament to the power of true friendship.”
“I’m just glad to have my ring back,” said Katz, who plans to display the ring proudly in a glass case filled with 50-year-old beer cans and a faded “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt. “It’s a reminder that even the most epic of party fouls can be redeemed with a little bit of luck and a lot of seaweed.”
As for Nelson, he’s already planning his next big find. “I’m telling you, there’s a sunken treasure trove of lost socks and abandoned flip-flops out there just waiting to be discovered,” he said, adjusting his diving gear. “Stay tuned, folks – this is going to be a wild ride!”
