**BREAKING: F-Bomb Flinging Fowl on the Loose!**
In a bizarre case that has left animal control officials and linguists alike aghast, a 20-year-old parrot with a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush is being rehomed by a Rhode Island animal rescue group.
Meet Polly, the potty-mouthed parrot who’s been leaving a trail of shocked expressions in her wake. This feathered femme fatale has a repertoire of expletives that would put a construction worker to shame, and her owners claim she’s been dishing out dirty talk for years.
“I’m not sure what’s more impressive, the fact that she’s learned so many curse words or that she’s able to string them together in coherent sentences,” said Jane Smith, director of the Rhode Island Animal Rescue Group. “We’ve had to install earplugs in the office just to protect our staff.”
According to sources, Polly’s vocabulary includes (but is not limited to) every F-bomb in the book, as well as a few creative combinations of words that have left even the most seasoned linguists speechless.
“One of our volunteers tried to give her a bath, and she responded with a 30-second non-stop barrage of profanity that would put a Las Vegas comedian to shame,” said Smith. “We’re pretty sure she even used the phrase ‘son of a…’ at least five times in a row.”
Despite her, ahem, colorful language, Polly is said to be a sweet and affectionate bird who just needs a new home with someone who’s willing to provide her with a little extra… filtering.
If you’re ready to take on the challenge of owning a parrot with a potty mouth, the Rhode Island Animal Rescue Group is seeking applications from mature, open-minded individuals who can provide Polly with a loving home and a robust supply of earplugs.
**UPDATE:** The rescue group has announced that they will be providing a complimentary “Parrot-ential” counseling session to anyone who adopts Polly, just to help them cope with the, ahem, “creative” language.
