**BREAKING: CAPYBARA CHAOS ERUPTS IN POLISH SUBURBS AS TWO ROGUE RODENTS WREAK HAVOC**
In a daring escape that has left authorities baffled and residents bewildered, two capybaras, described as “adorably fluffy fugitives,” broke free from a private zoo in rural Poland on Tuesday evening.
The semi-aquatic rodents, named “Pierogi” and “Pączek” by their owners, apparently exploited a weakness in their enclosure’s defenses and made a beeline for freedom, leaving a trail of destruction and delight in their wake.
Eyewitnesses claim the capybaras, which can grow up to 130 pounds and reach speeds of up to 22 miles per hour, were seen sprinting through the streets, dodging startled pedestrians and motorists.
“I was just sipping my coffee when I saw these… these… things running down the main street,” said local resident, Kasia Kowalska. “At first, I thought it was some kind of prank, but then I saw the teeth. Big, sharp teeth. I quickly grabbed my camera and started snapping away!”
The capybaras, whose whereabouts are currently unknown, are believed to have made their way through several backyards, leaving a path of flattened gardens and bewildered homeowners in their wake.
“I woke up to find my prized rose bushes had been reduced to mulch,” said a flabbergasted Mrs. Jadwiga Jankowska. “And then I saw them – two beady little eyes staring back at me from behind a bush. I almost had a heart attack!”
Polish authorities have issued a warning to residents, advising them to keep a safe distance from the wayward capybaras and to secure any outdoor food sources.
Meanwhile, local business owners are capitalizing on the capybara craze, selling “I survived the Great Capybara Escape” t-shirts and offering “Capybara Sighting Tours” to curious tourists.
As the search for Pierogi and Pączek continues, one thing is certain: these two capybaras have brought a much-needed injection of excitement and unpredictability to the sleepy Polish suburbs.
**UPDATE:** A reward of 1000 Polish złoty has been offered for information leading to the safe capture and return of the two capybaras. If you have any information, please contact the Polish authorities immediately. Or, you know, just try to lure them back with some tasty aquatic plants.
