**BREAKING: NEW YORK WOMAN STRIKES LUCK WITH 2.3-CARAT GEM AT ARKANSAS’ CRATER OF DIAMONDS, EXPECTS TO RETIRE TO ISLAND OF HER DREAMS**
Murphysboro, AR – In a jaw-dropping turn of events, a visitor from New York has unearthed a staggering 2.3-carat diamond at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas. The find has left park officials aghast and the lucky discoverer over the moon.
According to park officials, Sarah Johnson, 32, of Manhattan, was “just messing around” in the park’s 911-acre search area when she stumbled upon the massive gemstone.
“I was just digging around, making small talk with my cousin, and suddenly I felt something hard,” Johnson said in an interview. “Next thing I knew, I was screaming like a banshee and doing the chicken dance. It was like winning the lottery, but instead of cash, I got a rock!”
The diamond, which has been named “Big Apple” by park officials, is a stunning 2.3-carat emerald-cut gemstone with a sparkle so bright it’s been temporarily blinding park visitors.
“We’ve had some big finds before, but this one takes the cake,” said park spokesperson, Chuck F. Diamond. “Or should I say, it takes the diamond? Ha! Get it? Because it’s a diamond?”
As news of the find spread, park visitors began to flock to the area, hoping to catch a glimpse of the lucky winner. Johnson, who claims she’s now set for life, said she’s planning to use the diamond to fund her lifelong dream of opening a vegan bakery on a tropical island.
“I mean, who needs a 401k when you’ve got a 2.3-carat diamond, am I right?” Johnson quipped. “I’m trading in my studio apartment for a beachside bungalow and a lifetime supply of quinoa salad. It’s going to be lit!”
The Crater of Diamonds State Park, which has produced over 75,000 diamonds since its discovery in 1906, has now yielded its largest gemstone find of the year.
In related news, park officials have reported a surge in diamond-hunting-related injuries, as visitors attempt to recreate Johnson’s good fortune. “We’ve had to set up a ‘Diamond-Hunting 101’ course to teach people how to properly dig for gems without losing a limb,” said Diamond. “It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.”
