**BREAKING: Headless Horror on the Beach… or Not!**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of a small New Zealand coastal town scratching their heads, a local woman made a shocking discovery on the beach yesterday evening – or so she thought.
According to eyewitnesses (well, one eyewitness, to be exact), Sarah Jenkins, 32, was out for a stroll along the beach when she stumbled upon what appeared to be a headless corpse lying on the sand. Panicked, she quickly called the authorities, who rushed to the scene to investigate.
“I was just walking along, enjoying the sunset, when I saw… well, I thought I saw a headless body,” said Jenkins, still shaken. “I mean, it was really convincing. I could see the… um… ‘torso’ and the… ‘limbs’ and I just freaked out.”
Police and paramedics arrived promptly, and after a tense standoff with… well, no one, really… they began to investigate the scene. But as they drew closer to the “corpse,” they couldn’t help but notice something odd.
“It was a bit… floppy,” said one officer, who wished to remain anonymous. “And it was making a weird… squeaking noise.”
As it turned out, the “headless corpse” was actually a very realistic adult doll, likely discarded by a prankster or a bored beachgoer. The doll, which police described as ” extremely lifelike” and “eerily realistic,” had been left on the beach, causing quite the commotion.
“I mean, I’ve seen some realistic dolls in my time, but this one was… wow,” said Detective Jameson, who was called to the scene. “We’re just glad it wasn’t a real body. Can you imagine?”
Jenkins, who was understandably shaken by the experience, was relieved to learn that the “corpse” was just a harmless doll. “I mean, I’m still a bit traumatized,” she said, “but at least it was just a toy.”
The doll, which has been taken into custody by authorities, is currently being held for further examination. When asked if it would be returned to its rightful owner, police simply shrugged. “We’re not sure if it has an owner,” said Jameson. “But if it does, they’re probably freaking out right now.”
In related news, local residents are advised to be on the lookout for any other “beach corpses” that may be lurking in the area. And if you see a suspicious-looking doll, don’t hesitate to call the authorities. After all, you never know when you might stumble upon a… well, a not-so-dead body.
