BOISE, ID – In a jaw-dropping display of culinary mastery, 32-year-old Idaho resident, Bubba Jenkins, has been awarded the prestigious Guinness World Record for “Fastest Time to Pick Up 50 Peas with Chopsticks.”
Eyewitnesses claim that Jenkins, a self-proclaimed “chopstick ninja,” picked up the peas at an astonishing rate of 2.5 seconds per pea, shattering the previous record by a whopping 10 seconds.
“I was like a whirlwind of chopstick-fueled fury,” Jenkins exclaimed in an interview. “I could feel the peas calling my name, begging to be picked up. It was like my chopsticks had a mind of their own!”
Witnesses described the scene as “trance-like” and “borderline supernatural,” with some onlookers reportedly fainting from sheer amazement.
“I was on the edge of my seat, wondering if he’d actually do it,” said local resident, Karen Johnson. “I mean, who picks up peas with chopsticks? This guy, that’s who!”
Jenkins’ training regimen consisted of hours of intense focus, practicing his chopstick skills in front of a mirror, and eating an entire jar of wasabi for “inspiration.”
“I’m not just a record holder, I’m a chopstick revolutionary,” Jenkins declared. “I’m changing the game, one pea at a time.”
The previous record holder, a Japanese chef named Takeshi Matsumoto, was unavailable for comment, but sources close to the matter claim he’s “shaken” by Jenkins’ achievement.
In related news, local restaurants have reported a surge in demand for takeout, with many patrons requesting “ninja-style” food preparation.
When asked about his plans for the future, Jenkins cryptically replied, “The world is not ready for my sushi-eating, chopstick-wielding greatness. But soon, they will be.”
