BREAKING: MISSING STEER MANHUNT ENTERS DAY 3, FAMILY LEFT SHAKEN
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of rural Texas on high alert, a lone steer named “Bubba” has gone rogue, evading capture and leaving a trail of chaos in his wake. The steer, who was part of a group of cattle that escaped onto a highway earlier this week, has been on the lam for over 48 hours, with authorities and family members scrambling to track him down.
According to eyewitnesses, Bubba was last seen sauntering down I-45, causing multiple traffic jams and at least one fender bender. “I was driving to work when suddenly, out of nowhere, this massive steer comes barreling down the highway,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I swear, he was wearing a ‘I’m with stupid’ t-shirt and a mischievous grin. I’m pretty sure he was laughing at me.”
The steer, described as a 3-year-old Brahman cross with a distinctive white patch over one eye, is considered to be “extremely clever” and “totally not sorry” for the mayhem he’s caused. His owners, the Jones family, are offering a reward for any information leading to his safe return.
“We’re worried sick about Bubba,” said family spokesperson, Jimmy Jones. “He’s a beloved member of our family, and we just want him to come home. Although, if he’s going to cause this much trouble, maybe we should just let him keep on roaming free.”
As the search for Bubba continues, residents are advised to be on the lookout for a loose steer with a penchant for highway hijinks. If spotted, do not approach – just call the authorities and let them handle it.
In related news, local businesses are capitalizing on the situation, selling “Bubba the Runaway Steer” t-shirts and souvenirs. When asked about the merchandise, Jones replied, “Hey, if it’s going to bring in some extra cash, we’re not complaining. Just bring our steer home, and we’ll throw in a free BBQ.”
