**BREAKING: BIGGEST WINNER EVER!**
In a shocking turn of events, local merchant marine, Jack “Lucky” McSweeney, has won the **MIND-BOGGLING** sum of $1 MILLION DOLLARS in the Maryland Lottery!
McSweeney, a 32-year-old sea-faring sensation from the Big Apple, was on a brief shore leave in Annapolis, MD, when he stumbled upon a lottery ticket vendor and decided to take a chance. Little did he know, his life was about to take a dramatic turn!
According to eyewitnesses, McSweeney let out a **DEAFENING** whoop and started doing the cha cha slide in the middle of the convenience store after learning he had matched all six numbers.
“I was just trying to get some diesel for my boat, and then I saw the lottery ticket thingy,” said McSweeney, still in a daze. “Next thing I know, I’m swimming in cash! I mean, I’m not really swimming in it, but I wish I was!”
The winning ticket, which McSweeney purchased for a mere $2, was for the **ULTRA-JACKPOT** drawing, a special game that offers a whopping $1 MILLION DOLLARS to the lucky winner.
When asked what he plans to do with his newfound fortune, McSweeney exclaimed, “I’m gonna buy a YACHT! A REALLY, REALLY BIG ONE! And then I’m gonna sail around the world and eat all the lobster rolls I can find!”
McSweeney’s friends and family, who were not present at the drawing, were **OVER THE MOON** with excitement when they received the news.
“We always knew Jack was a lucky guy,” said his best friend, Mike. “I mean, have you seen his hair? It’s like he stuck his finger in a socket!”
The Maryland Lottery Commission has confirmed that McSweeney’s win is one of the largest in state history, and officials are already hailing him as the **LUCKIEST GUY ALIVE**!
So, if you see a merchant marine sailing around in a **GOLD-PLATED** yacht, eating lobster rolls and laughing maniacally, you’ll know it’s just Jack “Lucky” McSweeney, the $1 MILLION DOLLAR MAN!
