**URGENT: Urine-gate Rocks Scottish Town as Residents’ Contributions Overwhelm Clinic**
In a bizarre turn of events, a medical clinic in rural Scotland has thrown up its hands in exasperation, begging locals to STOP BRINGING IN ALL THE URINE ALREADY!
The clinic, which serves a population of around 5,000, has been inundated with unsolicited urine samples, leaving staff bewildered and bathroom supplies running perilously low.
“We’re at crisis point,” said Dr. Agnes MacTavish, lead physician at the clinic. “We’ve had people showing up at our doors with jars, bottles, and even a few ziplock bags filled with, ahem, ‘contributions’ to our medical research. It’s like they think we’re running a urine-of-the-month club or something!”
The clinic reported that one enthusiastic resident even brought in a 5-gallon bucket of the golden liquid, claiming it was a “just in case” donation.
“We appreciate the enthusiasm, but we didn’t ask for it,” Dr. MacTavish pleaded. “In fact, we specifically asked for NOTHING. Just… stop. Please, for the love of all things sanitary and reasonable.”
As the clinic struggles to cope with the deluge of unwanted urine samples, residents are being reminded that:
* No, we don’t need your morning pee.
* No, we don’t want your post-coffee sample.
* And especially not your “just-in-case-I-need-it-later” emergency stash.
The clinic has promised to provide a safe and respectful environment for those who actually need medical attention – without the, ahem, extras.
In related news, local businesses have started selling “I Urine-ated at the Clinic” t-shirts, which have become an unexpected hit among tourists.
