**BREAKING: BUFFALO ON THE LOOSE!**
In a bizarre incident that left residents of Surrey, British Columbia, scratching their heads, a herd of rogue water buffalo brought the city to a standstill yesterday afternoon.
The marauding mammals, estimated to be around 20 strong, broke free from a local farm and went on a wild adventure through the streets, leaving a trail of chaos and bewildered onlookers in their wake.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as the buffalo, with their distinctive curved horns and shaggy coats, galloped down main roads, dodged pedestrians, and even leapt over a city bus.
“I was on my way to grab a coffee when suddenly, out of nowhere, a buffalo came bounding down the sidewalk,” said local resident, Jane Doe. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in Surrey before, but this was on a whole other level. I was like, ‘Is this real life?'”
The buffalo, seemingly with a mind of their own, wandered into a shopping center, where they caused a stampede of shoppers trying to get out of their way. Witnesses reported hearing loud mooing, screeching tires, and the sound of shattering storefronts.
“It was like they were on a mission from God,” said Surrey Mayor, Doug McCallum. “We had reports of buffalo in the mall, at the gas station, and even at the local Tim Hortons. I’m just glad no one was seriously hurt… except for maybe the poor soul who tried to take a selfie with a buffalo.”
After a thrilling high-speed chase through the city, the buffalo were finally corralled by a team of brave (or foolhardy) animal control officers, who managed to lasso the wayward herd and return them to their relieved farm owner.
As the city breathed a collective sigh of relief, residents couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Surrey,” quipped one resident. “Where else can you see buffalo taking a leisurely stroll down the 152nd Street?”
The incident has left many wondering: what’s next for Surrey? A pack of wild llamas on the loose? A herd of rogue unicorns grazing in the park?
**UPDATE:** The farm owner has announced plans to install a “buffalo-proof” fence around the farm, while the city has promised to provide additional funding for animal control services… and therapy sessions for anyone traumatized by the great buffalo invasion.
