**BREAKING: ROGUE WALLABY CAPTURED AFTER 12-DAY MANHUNT ROCKS THE BIG APPLE**
In a thrilling conclusion to the wildest adventure the city has ever seen, a brazen wallaby named Winston was finally apprehended yesterday evening after evading capture for nearly two weeks.
The marsupial mayhem began on March 22nd when Winston, a 3-year-old wallaby from the Central Park Zoo, made a break for it, leaving zoo officials scrambling to corral the quick-witted ‘roo.
For 12 days, Winston ran amok through the concrete jungle, dodging subway trains, leaping over pedestrians, and snacking on unsuspecting tourists’ picnics. Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as Winston bounded through Times Square, sending pigeons flying and street performers scurrying for cover.
“I was just trying to eat a hot dog and suddenly there’s a wallaby in a Yankees cap and sunglasses, munching on a pretzel,” said local resident, Dave Jenkins. “I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in this city, but this was on another level.”
As the search for Winston intensified, zoo officials deployed a team of experts, including a wallaby whisperer, a ninja, and a pastry chef (don’t ask). Together, they tracked the elusive ‘roo to an abandoned lot in Brooklyn, where Winston was enjoying a leisurely snack of discarded pizza crusts.
In a daring sting operation, the team lured Winston into a custom-built wallaby trap disguised as a giant pizza box. The cunning ‘roo was caught off guard and was subsequently scooped up and returned to the safety of the zoo.
“We’re just relieved that Winston is back where he belongs,” said zoo spokesperson, Jane Smith. “We’re not sure what sparked his great escape, but we’re looking into adding more excitement to his enclosure – maybe a mini-trampoline or two.”
As for Winston, he’s already planning his next move. Insiders report that the wallaby has been overheard plotting a daring escape from the zoo’s Australian exhibit, with rumors of a tunnel-digging contest against a mischievous emu.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story, and in the meantime, keep your snacks close and your wits about you – you never know when Winston might strike again!
