**BREAKING: MOOSE ON THE LOOSE! FURY OF THE FOREST UNLEASHES DESTRUCTION ON LOCAL CAR DEALERSHIP**
In a bizarre incident that has left residents of suburban Anytown, USA, in stitches, a marauding moose wandered into the parking lot of “Wheels-R-Us” car dealership and proceeded to wreak havoc on the luxury car inventory.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as the majestic creature, estimated to be around 7 feet tall and sporting a rack of impressive antlers, calmly strolled into the garage and began tramping on several high-end BMWs.
“I was just sitting at my desk when I heard a loud crash and a bunch of yelling,” said sales associate, Jane Doe. “I looked out the window and saw this…this…THING, just smashing cars like they were toys. I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in my time, but this was something else!”
The moose, identified as “Manny” by local wildlife experts, apparently had a particular vendetta against German-made vehicles. Witnesses reported that the beast deliberately targeted several BMWs, leaving a trail of dented bumpers, shattered windshields, and crumpled hoods in its wake.
“It was like it had a personal grudge against Beemers,” said dealership owner, John Smith. “I mean, I’ve heard of moose being a little aggressive during mating season, but this was ridiculous! It was like it was trying to make a statement – ‘I’m the king of the forest, and I don’t care about your fancy cars!'”
As the moose continued its rampage, employees of the dealership were forced to take cover behind nearby pillars and furniture. “I was hiding under my desk, praying it wouldn’t find me,” said sales associate, Bob Johnson. “I mean, have you ever seen a moose do a 180-degree spin and charge at a car? It’s not something you want to experience firsthand, let me tell you!”
Miraculously, no one was injured during the ordeal, although several employees reported suffering from “moose-induced trauma” (MIT).
The dealership has estimated the damages to be in the range of $100,000 to $200,000, with several BMWs rendered “totally moose-astrophic.”
In a bizarre twist, local animal control officials reported that Manny the Moose was later spotted sipping on a latte at a nearby coffee shop, seemingly unaware of the chaos it had caused just hours earlier.
When asked for comment, the moose simply shrugged and said, “Hey, someone’s gotta keep the car industry on its toes!”
