**BREAKING: Feathered Fiends Take Over Sydney’s Drinking Fountains**
In a bizarre and alarming turn of events, a team of researchers in Australia has made the astonishing discovery that the sulphur-crested cockatoos of Sydney have not only learned to operate drinking fountains designed for human use, but have in fact, taken over the city’s hydration stations.
According to the study, published in the Journal of Avian Mischief, the clever cockatoos have figured out how to press the buttons, turn the handles, and even do a little dance on the edge of the fountain to get a drink. And not just any drink, mind you, but a refreshing blast of water that rivals the finest birdbaths in the land.
“It’s like they’re trying to outdo each other in a game of ‘Who Can Get the Most Creative with the Drinking Fountain’,” said Dr. Emily P. Bottomsworth, lead researcher on the project. “We’ve seen birds using their beaks to press the buttons, their feet to turn the handles, and even their tails to… well, to just kind of swish back and forth and look cute.”
The researchers observed that the cockatoos have developed a complex system of fountain-hopping, with different birds taking turns to get a drink and even forming queues to avoid conflicts. But don’t think for a second that these birds are just content with a simple drink – oh no, they’re getting fancy.
“We’ve seen birds doing backflips off the fountains, playing ‘king of the mountain’ on the bubbler, and even using the water to clean their feathers,” said Dr. Bottomsworth. “It’s like they’re trying to show off their skills and impress their mates. And honestly, it’s a bit intimidating – I mean, who needs a coffee machine when you’ve got a cockatoo-operated drinking fountain?”
The study’s findings have left many in the community wondering if it’s time to rethink the design of public drinking fountains. “I mean, if birds can figure out how to use them, shouldn’t we be making them more accessible to humans too?” asked local resident, Karen Jenkins. “Maybe we can even get some bird-sized fountains installed – you know, for the little guys.”
As for the cockatoos, they seem to be enjoying their newfound love of drinking fountains. And who can blame them? After all, there’s nothing quite like a cold drink on a hot day – especially when you can get it from a fancy fountain that’s all yours.
