**BREAKING: Capitals’ Goalie Blames Flying Nacho for Epic Collapse Against Oilers**
In a bizarre post-game press conference, Washington Capitals goalie, Darcy Kuemper, attributed the team’s crushing 4-3 loss to the Edmonton Oilers to a rogue flying nacho that allegedly distracted him on the play.
“It was like it had a mind of its own,” Kuemper said, shaking his head. “I was focused on the puck, and then suddenly, this nacho comes out of nowhere, soaring through the air like a cheesy, crispy missile. I mean, I’ve seen some weird things in my time in the NHL, but this was on a whole different level.”
According to eyewitnesses, the errant nacho, reportedly tossed by a rowdy fan in the upper deck, flew onto the ice with a velocity of approximately 30 miles per hour, narrowly missing Kuemper’s mask.
“I tried to track the puck, but my eyes kept drifting back to the nacho,” Kuemper explained. “It was like it was taunting me, daring me to make a save. But I couldn’t help it – I was in a trance. The next thing I knew, the puck was in the back of the net, and I was wondering what had just happened.”
The Capitals’ coach, Peter Laviolette, seemed skeptical of Kuemper’s excuse, but acknowledged that the team’s defense had been “a little…crunchy” all game.
When asked if he’d considered filing a formal complaint with the NHL regarding the flying nacho incident, Kuemper deadpanned, “Hey, I’m just saying – if the league’s going to start fining guys for tripping, maybe they should consider penalties for airborne snack-related interference.”
The Oilers, meanwhile, were nonplussed by the controversy, with Connor McDavid simply shrugging and saying, “Hey, we’ve all been there – except, you know, without the flying nacho.”
The Capitals will look to rebound from the loss when they face the Maple Leafs on Friday, hopefully with a nacho-free zone in effect.
