**BREAKING: PAPER PLANE PRODIGY SHATTERS OWN RECORD, LEAVES COMPETITION IN THE DUST**
In a jaw-dropping display of aerodynamics and sheer, unadulterated awesomeness, 32-year-old paper plane phenom, Jack “The Folder” Harris, has obliterated his own Guinness World Record for fastest paper plane throw, clocking in at a blistering 5.12 seconds.
The previous record holder, Harris himself, had held the title for “Fastest Paper Plane Throw” with a time of 5.67 seconds, set just last month at the annual “Extreme Origami” championships in Tokyo. But Harris was not content to rest on his laurels, and after months of intense training and experimentation with various folding techniques, he has managed to shave a whopping 0.55 seconds off his previous best.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as “absolute pandemonium” as Harris, fueled by a potent combination of determination and Red Bull, took to the stage at the “Paper Airplane World Championships” in Los Angeles.
“I just focused, visualized the plane soaring through the air, and let it rip,” Harris said in a post-record interview, his voice still shaking with adrenaline. “I mean, I’ve been practicing my folding technique for years, but I never thought I’d be able to get it down to 5.12 seconds. It’s just… wow.”
The crowd went wild as Harris’s plane, lovingly crafted from a single sheet of A4 paper, soared through the air, its trajectory a perfect arc of awesomeness. The timing was verified by a team of officials from Guinness World Records, who were on hand to witness the record-breaking feat.
But Harris wasn’t the only one left stunned – his competitors were left scratching their heads, wondering how they could possibly keep up with the man who has become known as the “Michael Phelps of Paper Planes.”
“I mean, I’ve seen some crazy things in my time,” said rival paper plane enthusiast, Dave “The Dart” Davis, “but this guy is on a whole different level. I’m just glad I don’t have to face him in a folding competition – I’d get destroyed.”
Harris’s record-breaking achievement has sent shockwaves through the paper plane community, with many calling for him to be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (or at the very least, a really nice trophy).
When asked what his next move would be, Harris simply grinned mischievously and said, “I’m already working on my next record – I’m going to try to fold and throw a paper airplane while blindfolded and reciting the entire script of ‘Hamlet’ backwards.” The crowd gasped in awe, knowing that with Harris, anything is possible.
