SEATTLE – In an exciting turn of events, Customs and Border Protection (CBP) officers at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport were able to seize illegal drugs, count them, log them, and file a report twice in just one week thanks to the work of one consistent traveler.
The unnamed traveler, who has yet to be caught, allegedly tried to smuggle the illegal substances into the country by wrapping them in shiny metallic wrap and hiding them in their luggage. Unfortunately for them, CBP officers have eagle eyes and immediately flagged the traveler’s luggage upon arrival at the airport.
In a bold move, the traveler doubled down and attempted the same method of smuggling for a second time just a few days later. However, CBP officers were once again on high alert, and the shiny, metallic packaging gave them away instantly.
“This is a clear-cut example of why we have such high morale at CBP,” said a spokesperson for the agency. “We not only caught one smuggler, but we caught them twice. It really shows the dedication and persistence of our officers in keeping dangerous drugs off the streets.”
The total amount of illegal drugs seized has yet to be disclosed, as CBP officers are still counting and weighing the substances. However, they assure the public that it was definitely less than the amount that got away.
“We take our job very seriously,” the spokesperson continued. “We know that illegal drugs can have a devastating impact on communities, and we will do everything in our power to stop them from spreading. Even if that means dealing with the same traveler and the same shiny, metallic wrapping twice in one week.”
The CBP’s success in this case has sent shockwaves through the airport community, with other travelers considering using different methods of smuggling instead. Experts predict that this may lead to a rise in smuggling via oversized hats, faux baby bumps, and even the occasional fake mustache.
Despite the agency’s hard work and success in this case, some critics have questioned why the CBP officers were not able to catch the smuggler the second time around considering they had already caught them once before.
“We understand that people are concerned,” the spokesperson acknowledged. “But we assure you that we are taking all necessary steps to ensure that this does not happen again. We are currently reviewing our shiny, metallic packaging detection procedures and will make changes as necessary.”
So, Seattle travelers, rest assured that the CBP officers are on high alert and are not above counting and weighing illegal drugs twice in one week. They are committed to keeping our communities safe and always ready to detect anything wrapped in a little too much shine.
