Wawa superfan accomplishes lifetime achievement of collecting order slips
In a stunning feat of dedication and passion, a New Jersey man has accomplished a lifetime achievement worth coveting: collecting a full set of Wawa order slips numbered 0-999. For three long years, this man made it his life’s mission to achieve greatness within the Wawa community, collecting each and every slip he could get his hands on.
This Wawa superfan, whose name remains undisclosed due to the intense backlash that will inevitably follow, is nothing short of a hero to his fellow convenience store aficionados. Friends and family alike have marvelled at his unparalleled perseverance, as he scoured every store and location within a 50 mile radius to acquire new slips. He forwent all other hobbies and interests in favour of this one true passion, and it has paid off in spades.
We, as journalists, can only hope to achieve one-tenth of the greatness that this Wawa superfan has achieved. To dedicate oneself so fully and fearlessly to a singular goal is truly remarkable in this day and age. Some may scoff and say that there are bigger issues to focus on in this world, but we say: they just don’t understand.
Think about it – this man has achieved something that we can only dream of. He has likely touched every single Wawa sandwich wrapper, every paper cup that has held a steaming cup of joe, every hot dog wrapper that has ever graced the eleventy billion grills that can be found in every Wawa across the country. If that isn’t something to strive for, what is?
The fact that this man remains anonymous is telling; he has achieved something greater than himself, and he knows it. He doesn’t want praise or accolades – he just wants to bask in the glory of his own achievement. We can only hope to be so humble.
In all seriousness, though, we must marvel at the absurdity of this situation. What drives a person to collect over 1,000 scraps of paper from a convenience store chain? What is the end goal? To what purpose do these slips serve, except to gather dust in some sad filing cabinet somewhere?
Perhaps we are being too harsh. Perhaps there is a deep-seated joy that this man derives from these order slips that we can never understand. Perhaps it is the thrill of the hunt, the satisfaction of reaching a goal no matter how insignificant.
Regardless, we salute this Wawa superfan for his achievements, tongue firmly in cheek. May his collection bring him great joy and not disrupt his daily life too much. And to the rest of us – let us all find that one thing that brings us as much joy as these order slips bring this man.
