In some not-so-breaking news today, officials in Boston have confirmed that the long-elusive cow that has been spotted roaming the city for several weeks is, in fact, a bull. It may come as a shock to some people, who have been convinced they sighted a cow, but the department of agriculture assures us that cows don’t have testicles – something this so-called “cow” apparently has.
It seems that the hoaxer who started this whole ordeal has been successfully exposed. The perpetrator, a local farmer named Jed, now admits that he dressed his bull up in a cow costume just to mess with people’s minds. Jed has apologized for causing all the confusion, but insists that it was all just a harmless prank. Some locals are not convinced though, and want Jed to face penalties for his actions.
Since the “cow” was first sighted, there have been a host of sightings and attempted captures by animal control officers. It’s not clear why it took so long for someone to realize that it wasn’t a cow. Many have been left scratching their heads, wondering how anyone could have been so clueless as to not notice the bull’s gender.
Meanwhile, the bull continues to roam free, much to the amusement of the local press. Twitter is full of pictures of the bull in unexpected places – notably on the subway, hanging out in coffee shops, and even in the front row of Fenway Park. It seems the bull has become a bit of a celebrity.
One local resident, who preferred to remain anonymous, explained that the bull had brought a bit of excitement to an otherwise dull town. “It’s been great fun following the bull around” she said. “I mean there’s not much going on around here, so it’s nice to have something to talk about”.
Despite the bull’s newfound notoriety, animal rights activists are concerned for its safety. They worry that it’s only a matter of time before someone tries to capture it, and that the bull could come to harm in the process. They are urging people to leave the bull alone, and let it continue its merry jaunt through the city.
It’s not yet clear how long the bull will continue its adventure, or whether officials will be able to capture it. However, one thing is certain – the mystery of the Boston cow has finally been solved, and it has provided the city with a welcome distraction from the humdrum of everyday life.
