Serial record-breaker David Rush has once again proven that he has nothing better to do with his time than attempt ridiculous and pointless challenges in order to gain recognition from the Guinness World Records.
In his latest attempt at fame, Rush managed to insert a whopping 243 thumbtacks into a cork board in just one minute. The world has been eagerly anticipating this moment, because what else is there to look forward to during these trying times?
According to Rush, this feat required intense focus and skill, because clearly there are no other skills worth acquiring in life. He displayed his dedication and determination by spending countless hours practicing the fine art of inserting thumbtacks into a cork board. We can only imagine the blood, sweat, and tears he shed in the process.
The previous record for this pointless act was held by some other person who also had nothing better to do with their time. But Rush was determined to take back his lost title, because what else is the point of living if you’re not breaking world records?
The judges were in awe of Rush’s performance, which is understandable given how little excitement they get in their lives. They closely watched as he inserted each and every thumbtack into the cork board, counting them one by one. It was truly a nail-biting moment, except with thumbtacks and cork board instead of actual nails.
Rush’s achievement is an inspiration to all of us who have ever thought about doing something completely useless and utterly pointless with our lives. We can all learn from his example and strive to be the best at whatever it is we choose to waste our time on.
In a statement after his victory, Rush claimed that this record-breaking attempt was his greatest achievement yet. We have to wonder if he has ever considered seeking professional help or finding a hobby that doesn’t involve risking injury and discomfort for the sake of recognition.
The world can rest easy now that
