California Highway Patrol Commends Driver for Excellent Carpool Performance
In a rare moment of official recognition, the California Highway Patrol (CHP) has issued multiple citations against a local driver for their outstanding carpool lane performance. Not only did the driver successfully navigate the notoriously stressful and congested Los Angeles traffic, they also did so with a passenger in tow. Well, sort of.
In a photo shared on social media, the CHP documented the driver’s skillful use of a dummy passenger to dupe authorities into believing they were legally allowed to use the carpool lane. The dummy, outfitted with a baseball cap and sunglasses, sat stoically in the front seat as the car sailed past unsuspecting commuters in the regular lanes. The driver, who has not been identified, was pulled over and promptly issued a series of citations including misuse of the carpool lane, failure to wear their own sunglasses, and not properly securing a non-human passenger.
“We were thoroughly impressed with their creativity and determination,” said CHP spokesperson, Officer Smith. “That dummy was practically a real person…just with a little less personality and heart rate.”
The use of dummy passengers is nothing new in California, a state with notoriously strict carpool lane regulations. While some have voiced concerns about the practice, the CHP praised the driver’s dedication to reducing traffic and emissions.
“Sure, we could have given them a ticket and sent them on their way,” added Officer Smith. “But really, we just wanted to acknowledge their commitment to finding innovative solutions to our traffic problems. I mean, who needs a real human friend to ride with you when you can have a lifeless mannequin that both saves the environment and lets you cut ahead of everyone else?”
The driver, who declined to comment, is reportedly considering crafting an even more convincing dummy passenger for future carpool adventures. The CHP, meanwhile, is planning to launch a “Carpool Champion” program, highlighting the most awe-inspiring drivers and passengers who have graced the state’s iconic diamond lane.
“This is the kind of ingenuity and outside-the-box thinking we need in this state,” said Officer Smith. “We hope more drivers will follow this example and start thinking about how they can make our roads a better place for all Californians. Or, at the very least, how they can keep us entertained during our long hours on patrol.”
In the end, it seems the driver’s unusual tactic paid off in more ways than one. Not only did they avoid sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, they also earned recognition from one of the state’s most esteemed law enforcement agencies. So, if you’re ever cruising down the carpool lane and see a lifeless dummy staring back at you, just remember: they might be more of a champion driver than you’ll ever be.
