“Breaking news: Woman does something no one really cares about and sets world record”
In a stunning display of perseverance and dedication to an exercise that no one really enjoys doing, a 59-year-old woman has broken the world record for planking.
The woman, who has not been identified, held the plank position for an impressive 4 hours and 20 minutes, beating the previous record held by an equally obscure person nobody had heard of before.
Social media was abuzz with the news, with many people hailing the woman as a hero and an inspiration. Others, however, were quick to point out that this was hardly a feat worth celebrating.
“Wow, someone held a plank position for a really long time. Who cares?” tweeted one person, while another commented, “I bet she could have spent that time doing something productive, like napping or binge-watching Netflix.”
Indeed, one has to question the value of breaking a world record in an exercise that serves no practical purpose other than making one’s abs sore. It’s not like the woman’s accomplishment will cure cancer or bring about world peace.
But let’s give credit where credit is due. Planking for 4 hours and 20 minutes takes a lot of discipline and mental fortitude, not to mention a high tolerance for boredom. So congratulations, nameless woman who set this world record. Your achievement may not change the world, but it’s still pretty impressive.
Of course, there are some who are skeptical of the validity of the record. Some have suggested that the woman may have cheated by taking breaks or sneaking in some extra rest time. There has even been speculation of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) being used to enhance her planking abilities.
When asked about these allegations, a spokesperson for the World Record Association (WRA) assured the public that there were strict rules in place to ensure fair play and that the woman had passed all necessary tests.
“We have no reason to question the validity of this record,” the spokesperson said. “Planking may not be the most exciting activity in the world, but it’s still a serious competition.”
So there you have it, folks. A woman has broken a world record in planking, and the world will never be the same. Will anyone ever be able to top her accomplishment? Will planking become the new national pastime? Only time will tell.
In the meantime, let’s all take a moment to reflect on the true value of such feats. Let’s remember that while world records may be impressive, there are much more important things in life than planking for 4 hours straight. Like, you know, spending time with loved ones, helping out in the community, or simply enjoying a good book. But hey, whatever floats your boat.
