Title: Library Worker Shocked to Find Psychedelic Book That Somehow Never Got Returned for 37 Years
In a shocking revelation that has left librarians everywhere scratching their heads, a book about psychedelic drugs has been recovered after having gone missing for nearly four decades.
The book, titled “The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead” was first checked out from the city library back in 1983 by a patron who remains unidentified. The book promised to be a trippy exploration of the intersection between ancient spiritual practices and mind-altering substances such as LSD and mushrooms.
However, the book was never returned and library staff assumed it had long been lost or stolen. That is, until last week when a worker stumbled upon the tome while cleaning out a dusty storage closet.
“I was just cleaning up some old files and digging around in storage when I saw it,” said librarian Jane Smith, who discovered the book. “At first I thought it was a prank – like someone had planted it there to be silly or something. But then I saw the due date card and realized it was the real deal. I couldn’t believe it.”
According to records, the book had been bounced around a few branches of the library, but none of them ever reported its return. Experts in the field of psychedelics are equally baffled by the situation.
“I just can’t imagine what this book has been doing for all these years,” said Dr. Timothy Leary, a noted advocate for LSD.
“I mean, was it just sitting on someone’s shelf all this time? Or maybe it was passed around among some secret underground group of psychonauts? It’s anyone’s guess.”
Despite being overdue by several decades, the library says it won’t be pressing charges against the person who checked out the book. Instead, they’re just happy to have it back in circulation.
“We’re not mad, we’re just disappointed,” said library spokesperson Susan Johnson. “We’re disappointed that someone would hold onto this book for so long and deny other patrons the chance to read it. That’s just not very neighborly, is it?”
The book’s overdue fines would have added up to roughly $3,000 by now, but the library says it won’t be seeking payment.
“At this point, we’re just glad to have it back,” said Johnson. “We hope that whoever checked it out has been having a nice long, strange trip all these years. But now it’s time to share the wealth with the rest of us.”
In conclusion, it turns out that if you want to go on a long, strange trip, all you have to do is hold onto a library book about psychedelics for decades and watch as the world around you changes. Who knew the secrets to enlightenment were hiding in your local library all this time?
