Local residents in Oklahoma have been left scratching their heads following a spate of sightings of a mysterious loose bovine roaming around the streets, which has been dubbed the ‘Thundercow’. Yes, you read that right, the ‘Thundercow’. How creative.
According to witnesses, the Thundercow is a large, black, and muscular animal that appears to be completely unbothered by human presence. Some have even claimed that the creature is so powerful that it could shoot lightning bolts from its eyes and summon thunder with its breath. Is this real life, or just a page out of a superhero comic book?
Our investigative journalists here at the Daily Times have been looking into the Thundercow phenomenon, and it seems like there are a few possible explanations for its sudden appearance. Some locals speculate that the creature is actually an escaped cow from one of the nearby farms, while others suspect that it may have been set free by a group of misguided activists who wanted to give it a chance at ‘freedom’. Freedom from what, exactly? The life of luxury and plentiful food supply they have on the farm?
We tried to track down some of the members of this supposed freedom-fighting group, but they refused to speak to us. Instead, they sent us a strongly worded statement saying that they demand “the immediate release of all cows from the oppressive and exploitative dairy industry”. Excuse us while we roll our eyes.
Back to the Thundercow. It seems like more and more people are becoming intrigued by this elusive creature, with some even trying to make it their pet. Yes, you heard that right, people are trying to make a wild and potentially dangerous beast their pet. What could possibly go wrong?
To make matters worse, social media seems to be fueling the hysteria around the Thundercow, with people sharing videos and memes of the creature left, right, and center. One video in particular showed a man attempting to ride the Thundercow, with predictably disastrous consequences. We’re not sure whether to laugh, cry, or both.
Local authorities are warning people not to approach the Thundercow, as it is still a wild animal and should be treated with caution. We repeat, do not approach the Thundercow. That means you, Mr. “I’m going to make it my pet” and Mrs. “I’m going to try to ride it”.
In conclusion, we are now living in a world where we have to watch out for a ‘Thundercow’ roaming the streets. Just another day in 2021, right?
