HONG KONG – In a display of human engineering prowess, the world’s largest balloon dragon was assembled in Hong Kong over the last weekend. The towering structure, measuring a breathtaking 50 feet tall, was constructed with the sole aim of inflating the ego of whoever can take credit for it.
The ground-breaking feat of inflating hot air and being celebrated for it was achieved by a team of 15 highly-skilled professionals who were generously remunerated to flutter about with misuse of helium. It is widely believed that there would be no better use of money in these trouble times than a balloon dragon to momentarily distract us all and lift our spirits.
An excited team leader, who was still giddy from the fumes of helium said, “We really pushed ourselves to the limit, staying up all night to get those balloons inflated! My personal favorite part of the project was when we blew up the first balloon and then watched it deflate almost immediately. That was definitely a high point in my career!”
But not everyone was impressed with the proportions of the dragon. Some critics have pointed out that it’s just a bunch of balloons held together with glue – which is pretty much the same amount of effort as a birthday party decoration – but with significantly more waste and hot air.
“I’m all for frivolous displays of human creativity,” said environmental activist, Susan Green, “but at what cost? All those balloons will end up as litter, contributing to the already dire state of our planet. And, let’s be real, it’s not like anyone’s life will be enriched by the mere sight of this towering, breathing monstrosity.”
Local residents, on the other hand, were seen to be overjoyed at the presence of this balloon dragon. It has provided them with the perfect opportunity to stand in lengthy queues and snap pictures with the help of the latest selfie sticks – the price of which would be equal to a week’s worth of meals for the nearby homeless population.
“The dragon is simply magnificent! It’s worth the wait and the hefty price tag to experience this once in a lifetime attraction,” said a beaming visitor who had spent the last three hours in line.
At the end of the day, it’s clear that the construction of the world’s largest balloon dragon was neither a colossal waste of time nor resources and, definitely not a display of the staggering egos of those behind it. It was, in fact, a source of momentary, yet much-needed joy in a world that’s brimming with more pressing concerns.
So pack your bags and grab your selfie sticks – this is one tourist attraction you won’t want to miss, before it deflates by next week and ends up in the nearest dumpster.
