MISSOURI, USA – A shocking discovery was made at the local library in Missouri. A book that was checked out more than 30 years ago had been returned, but not in its original pristine condition.
The book, titled “The Art of Time Management,” was apparently returned by a man, now in his 60s, who claimed he had been meaning to return it for years. Excuse us while we shed a tear for his dedication to following the due date.
The library staff was understandably shocked at the sudden return of the book. One librarian even fainted when she saw the condition of the once beautiful book. Tears streamed down her face as she saw her worst nightmare – a book that has been loved to death.
The book, which was initially published in 1972, is now missing its cover, the spine has faded, pages have been dog-eared, and coffee stains can be seen on some of the pages. It is almost unrecognizable from the pristine condition it once was in.
In an exclusive interview with the man, he shared his thoughts on the matter. “I just couldn’t bear the thought of paying that fine for 30 years, you know? But then I thought, what if they send me to debtor’s prison? So, here we are,” he said with a grin. What a joker!
The library staff has decided to waive the fine, which was estimated to be around $500. Now, that’s what we call a philanthropic move, folks! But they have also decided to ban the man from borrowing any more books from the library. A fair move, if you ask us. We couldn’t possibly have more people thinking they could get away with returning books decades later, now could we?
The library staff is now calling for an emergency meeting with librarians from around the world to discuss ways to prevent such tragic incidents from ever happening again. We have learned that one recommendation the committee will put forward is that all library books will have a GPS tracker installed on them. That’s right folks, we’re going all Big Brother on our literature.
“This is unacceptable behavior and we won’t tolerate it anymore,” said one librarian, her eyes flashing with righteous indignation. We couldn’t agree more!
In conclusion, let this be a warning to all those who think they can get away with such heinous crimes. Libraries are not to be taken lightly and their books should be treated with respect and honor. And if you can’t manage that, then be prepared to face the consequences – a lifetime ban from the local library and maybe even a fine, should they catch you. Let’s hope the rest of the world learns from this cautionary tale.
