In what can only be described as a complete waste of resources, three dogs were rescued from a Utah freeway over the weekend. The dogs, who were reported to be running loose on the busy highway, caused quite the commotion with drivers swerving and honking in frustration.
But fear not, dear readers, for the brave heroes of the Utah Highway Patrol were quick to respond. Multiple officers were dispatched to the scene to wrestle the vicious beasts to safety. Well, maybe “wrestle” is too strong a word, as reports are indicating that all three dogs were quite friendly and eager to be rescued.
In a statement, one officer proclaimed, “We’re just happy we could help these dogs before they caused any accidents.” Yes, because clearly the biggest danger on the highway is not the thousands of speeding cars, but instead, a trio of harmless dogs trotting down the middle of the road.
Of course, let’s not forget the Good Samaritan who first reported the dogs. Without this brave citizen, who knows where the three furry menaces would have ended up. Perhaps they would have caused a full-blown doggy traffic jam, with every driver stopping to take a selfie with the adorable pooches.
The dogs, whose names have not been released, are now in the custody of animal control. And while it’s clear they were just trying to find their way home, let’s hope they learn their lesson and stick to the back alleys and front lawns of suburbia.
But seriously, is this the kind of news story we should be devoting resources to? With all the chaos and suffering in the world, should we really be celebrating the fact that some dogs made it off the freeway without harm? Sure, it’s a heartwarming tale, but it seems a bit frivolous in the grand scheme of things.
We can only hope that the dogs are reunited with their owners or find loving homes, and that this incident serves as a cautionary tale for all pets not to wander too far from home. Because, as we all know, a dog on the loose is the greatest threat to public safety since… well, since nothing, actually.
So let us all take a moment to thank the Utah Highway Patrol and animal control for their valiant efforts in saving these dogs. And let us hope that next time there is breaking news, it’s something a bit more substantial than three pups on a joyride down the freeway.
