Florida Keys private island for sale? What a steal!
Are you tired of living among the common folk, with their shared driveways and public beaches? Look no further than this private island retreat, now on the market for a cool $2.5 million.
This island paradise, previously featured on HGTV, boasts crystal clear waters, pristine beaches, and a complete lack of privacy. But don’t worry, you’ll have the company of the curious tourists on passing boats and para-sailers overhead.
But wait, there’s more! The island comes complete with its own decrepit shack, perfect for storing your fishing equipment or as a shelter during mosquito season. And don’t worry about getting bored, because there’s not much to do on the island except swat bugs and dodge falling coconuts.
But let’s be honest, $2.5 million is a small price to pay for the chance to live like the castaways on Gilligan’s Island. Who needs Wi-Fi and central air conditioning when you have the constant hum of generators and saltwater showers?
And let’s not forget about the wildlife. If you’re lucky, you may be joined on your island adventure by a variety of critters such as flying cockroaches, venomous snakes, and the occasional alligator.
But, potential buyers, don’t let these minor inconveniences discourage you. Imagine the Instagram-worthy photos you’ll be able to post about your “adventurous” island lifestyle. And who needs a reliable boat to get to the mainland when you can signal passing planes for a chance to be rescued?
So, if you have a couple of million dollars to burn and a desire to live off the grid and answer nature’s call in the great outdoors, then this island retreat is the perfect place for you.
Bid now, before the ever-rising sea levels swallow it whole and you’re left with a mere snorkeling spot. And if the island life is just not for you, remember: there’s always your Mom’s basement.
