Minnesota: The land of 10,000 lakes, and apparently, a land of terrible pilots. A light plane carrying ice anglers made headlines today as it broke through thin ice while attempting to land on a large lake in the northwestern part of the state. The pilot, who shall remain nameless, apparently thought it was a good idea to test the thickness of the ice with his aircraft instead of, ya know, an actual ice auger.
Eyewitnesses described the scene as chaotic and downright comical. One witness stated, “I couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean, who tries to land a plane on thin ice? It’s like trying to make coffee with a teapot, it’s just not gonna work.” Another witness chuckled, “All I could think was, ‘well, that’s one way to make a splash’.”
According to reports, the pilot and passengers miraculously escaped the icy water unharmed. Authorities arrived on the scene quickly and took the necessary measures to retrieve the plane from the murky depths below. The pilot was reportedly flustered and embarrassed, as he should be. However, I guess we can’t blame him too much. I mean, it’s not like there are any signs or warnings anywhere stating, “Don’t land a plane on thin ice, dummies!”
We reached out to the Federal Aviation Administration for a statement on this matter, but they seem to be too busy with their other pressing issues, such as, oh I don’t know, ensuring that planes don’t crash-land into neighborhoods or something.
We here at the news desk just have a few questions for the pilot. Such as, was the ice that inviting that you just had to take a dip? Did you not realize you were in a plane and not a submarine? Did you lose a bet and this was your punishment? We just want answers!
In a state where ice fishing is a sacred tradition, this pilot’s actions are a disgrace to all ice anglers. Not only did he put himself and his passengers in danger, but he also potentially contaminated the lake with fuel and other debris from the submerged plane.
We’re sure the pilot will take the necessary steps to become a better and more responsible flyer. Or, you know, he’ll just stick to land travel from now on. Either way, we hope this serves as a lesson to all aspiring pilots out there. Don’t be like this guy. Don’t attempt to land on thin ice. And for the love of all things holy, leave the ice augers for testing ice thickness, not planes.
